Wrestlemania 34 Betting Lines – Part 1

This year’s version of WrestleMania will be 14 matches long.  For those who watched last year, the show ended sometime after midnight.  WrestleMania is not for the meek.  New Orleans will be the host for the second time in five years.  The last one from New Orleans was maybe my favorite WrestleMania ever.  How will WM34 compare?  Let us begin the journey.  As always, the matches are ranked based on my excitement level. 

13. The Andre the Giant and Women’s Battle Royal

What’s at stake

I have combined both versions of the battle royal.  For the men, this will be the fifth installment.  The first version (WM30) was made to feel important, thus making the winner (and Cesaro’s eliminating Big Show) feel important.  The second was won by Big Show (woot).  The third featured Shaq and Tatanka.  The winner was Baron Corbin, who I can’t stand.  Last year was the Mojo Rawley and Gronk show.   The bottom line is an idea that started larger than life like its namesake has been reduced to a gimmick match meant to draw a cheap mainstream headline.  The current edition has no build, no direction and almost no one announced. 

The first edition of the Women’s Battle Royal started off rocky when the original name was changed from the Fabulous Moolah Battle Royal due to Moolah’s abuse of young female wrestlers in the… 20th century?  In fairness, this isn’t the first time a battle royal featuring women has take place at WM.  WM 25 had a “Miss WrestleMania” battle royal won by Santina Marella (Santino dressed like a woman).  The ladies division has come a long way.  The only major storyline in this match is the long breakup of best friends Sasha Banks and Bayley. 

On a show that is around eight hours long, these two matches will fill a necessary role.  Everyone gets to be on the show, a couple of old timers will be involved and, if we are lucky, we will get the Gronk vs Shaq matchup everyone desires.  

Betting Line

Preshow Likelihood

Mens: -250

Womens: +160

Winner

Dana Brooke and Dolph Ziggler.

What I am looking forward to…

Timing each match.  The marginalizing of a couple of wrestlers by the commentators.  Fandango’s FIFTH WrestleMania.

What am I not looking forward to…

Missing the men’s match because The Masters final three hole will be happening.  Go Tiger!

What I want to happen…

I want Tiger to win.

What I think will happen…

I think Tiger will finish in the top 10 but fall short.  I’m going with Bubba Watson.  I also think that Sasha and Bayley will have a falling out.  There are no best friends in wrestling.


12. Cedric Alexander vs Mustafa Ali (Cruiserweight Championship Match)

What’s at stake

As I enter my 33rd year on earth, the aging process is starting to become very, very, very clear.  The knowledge I have attained in the areas of my curiosities is at an all time high.  I need to work twice as hard to become half as fat.  The group of friends I have in my life is at its largest and at its least intense.  My use of technology will not become more advanced than my current operational level. 

The part that is most pertinent to my life is my opening revelation.  I have a great deal of knowledge over the 4-5 things I love or have loved most in my life.  These 4-5 things also are the things that bring me the most joy.  My love of WWE, my love of most high level American sports, my love of a dozen or so television shows and a few video games and my love of playing golf will now and forever be a list of my favorite things.  The cost of this as aging continues is that I don’t have room for new things/obsessions.  I don’t watch new movies or TV shows, I spend more time playing my SNES classic than PS4, and I tried to watch soccer (It didn’t take).  This is how it starts!  I can at my current status admit to not understanding/caring about new things (I still have never seen an IMAX 3D movie or played Fortnite).  But soon, I fear that my not understanding and/or caring will turn to anger and/or dismissing.  Things in the past are great, new things suck.  I hope to keep perspective, but father time is undefeated. 

205 Live is outside of my interest.  I turn off cruiserweight matches when they come on Raw in favor of a Simpson’s episode I have seen 31 times.  I started to do research on these two for a proper review, but got bored and switched to an episode of West Wing.  The only thing I know is the two most prominent champs of this cruiserweight division were Neville (quit the company because he didn’t want to lose to Enzo Amore) and Enzo Amore (got fired from the company for not understanding that no means no).  This will almost certainly be on the preshow, there will be high flying moves and faced paced action.  I would love to tell you it will suck and these cruiserweights aren’t interesting and the branding of 205 live is not worth a damn. But all of these conclusions have to be made through different eyes these days.  Maybe you should give these guys a chance!

(No, this match will suck, 205 Live sucks!!!)

Betting Line

Cedric Alexander -130

What I am looking forward to…

The Superdome is a cool building and will be fun to see how they set it up of this WrestleMania.

What am I not looking forward to…

The 205 Live segment sure to be on the Raw after WM.

What I want to happen…

I want this match to be moved to the pre-pre-show.

What I think will happen…

Ali will win.  I am not sure if he is the face or the heel.


11. Alexa Bliss (♛) vs Nia Jax (Raw Women’s Championship)

What’s at stake

At the height of Hulkamania (mid to late 80s), the goal was to find giants for the Hulkster to slay.  They had to be giants because Hulk Hogan is no cruiserweight.  WWE lined up Paul Orandorff, King Kong Bundy, Earthquake, One Man Gang and, most famously, Andre the Giant.  David vs Goliath is the easiest of wrestling storylines and mid-80s Hulk Hogan played a great babyface in distress (despite his size).

At first glance, the Raw Women’s Championship match seems like this story told to the hilt.  Alexa Bliss is 5 feet tall in 6 inch heels.  Nia Jax is 6 foot tall and, let’s say, large.  Alexa never giving up despite the size disadvantage is “Daniel Bryan” story writing in itself.  However, for those of you still watching on a semi-regular basis, you know that Nia Jax is the face in this match and Alexa Bliss is the (wonderful) heel (how do I know she gets over as a heel? Just ask The Wife’s opinion of Alexa).  How can this work, though?  Maybe we should look at the two best feuds of Hulk Hogan’s 80s run for a possible answer.  It wasn’t any of the giants listed above. 

WM 1 was built around Hulk Hogan feuding with Roddy Piper (smaller of stature but larger of mouth).  WM 5 was built around Hulk Hogan vs Randy Savage (smaller of stature but larger of mouth added with bigger charisma). Both were heel-driven programs with the best heels of their generation.  The desire for Hogan to win was not built solely on overcoming the physical stature of a bigger opponent, but was also built on the hatred of a wonderfully diabolical heel. 

This isn’t to say this will work.  The build for this match has been short, the size disparity is really large, Bilss is a great heel but those heels are loved by the hardcore audience, and The Wife does not like Bliss, but finds Nia Jax to be too large to be believable.  There is intrigue in this match.  It will be interesting however it turns out.  Not bad for a bottom four match.  

Betting Line

Alexa Bliss -220 (Editor Note: I am not looking at actual betting lines.  I am making these on my own.  No cheating here)

What I am looking forward to…

Alexa Bliss is really good.  Watch her promo after winning the Elimination Chamber. Also my Echo Dot lighting up over and over again during the match

What am I not looking forward to…

They are playing on a theme that Nia Jax is being bullied which makes me a little uncomfortable for a wrestling storyline.

What I want to happen…

I want to see how this match is received by the crowd.  It will tell a lot about these two moving forward.

What I think will happen…

I think Jax wins by disqualification or count out.  They try to pour heat on Bliss, but not sure it takes.