Every Vito Has His Day part 1
By Diaper Chris
It was the final days of the longest hottest summer that western Pennsylvania had ever seen, and Don Vito was returning from his world tour with Bam and the guys of jackass. They were all in the tour bus when Bam said in his mischievous voice to Vito, “Vito your gonna let us take off your shirt and beat you with garbage bags full of doorknobs!”. Vito tried to respond and tell them that he did not want them to do this but they did not listen and the beating began. Vito was growing tired of Bam’s shennanigans and he just wished he could get away…he wished he could escape to another universe…where he!…Don Vito!…was king! After the beating Vito went to his favorite spot in the tour bus…the bathroom. Vito had bad dairehha and he was trying to keep it quiet so nobody would hear him…just then Bam burst in and started beating Vito while he was on the toliet. Next thing Vito knew his body was contracting every which way, it felt more like jello than usual, and he began to be sucked through the toliet. Bam just kept laughing and filming and Vito tried to call out for help but nobody understood his cries for help, before Vito knew it he was completely sucked down the toliet.
Vito awoke to find himself in a strange land, with strange familiar music playing…”where am I? Vito asked himself. just then a man riding a great yellow bird came up to him and said “hello stranger, you seem to be lost, can i help you?” Vito saw that the man had square hands and he realized where he recognized the music and the great yellow bird from…Vito had somehow been magically transported into the land of his favorite video game final fantasy 7. Vito said to the man “yes you can help me…i need to speak to Barret of Barrettown”. The man said “sure can do, come with me” and the man gave don vito a ride to BarretTown on the back of his chocobo.
Don Vito walked into Barret’s house and Barret exclaimed, “Who is this Fat #(*&%#$@(!*?!”. Don Vito said, “Hello barret i am a big fan of yours, and i need your help getting back at my nephew Bam, I hate him so much and i wish he would stop bothering me”. Barret then said, “yea i can do that” and he attached the dildo hand to his arm…”lets do this!”…to be continued in part 2
Enjoy this dramatic reading from the amazing “PlatJuke”: